mememaster | BABIES

[Shameless smirk when dirk comments on her makeup, shoots him a smudged wink. Roxy gets enough frequent cat naps in the day that once she's up at night, she's there for good, sorry bro. at the mention of frequent feedings, Roxy groans,letting Dave's hands latch around her fingers. ]

damn babies ar rneedy

[ Laughs when Dave coos back at her, he's already at that state we he's mimicking noises frequently (can babies be sarcastic?) Beams to Dirk ]

siht hes already bsutin out teh sick beats

[She gets a nice eye-roll in return for that wink, right before he's back to the moving and sitting and just...other things he shouldn't be doing at this hour. He should be sleeping. As much as Roxy can live off of cat-naps all through the day, this Southern boy needs a full night's sleep. Something he's been lacking for the past few months thanks to these stupidly adorable little buggers.

He's still staring at Rose when she lifts her hands up at him, making little grabby hands at him. He picks her up and lays back down, holding her up above him.]

You were just as needy as a baby, I'm sure.

[Of course he can't help the slight grin at the mention of Dave's 'sick beats'. He can feel some pride in that.]

Maybe he is my kid after all.

[ Yes, Dirk is The Sufferer himself over the whole up all night phenomena that accompanies babies,, but he'll have to adjust. It's not like Roxy hasn't changed her schedule to accommodate living with Dirk or these little mongrels- that's honestly not true, she's the same girl she's always been. Maybe a little more filled out, but.. Having a baby has only changed Roxy's use of babytalk, which has seen a sharp increase (though it was quite high to begin with, Dirk might loathe to admit).

Swoops Dave over to hold him next to Rose in front of Dirk. ]

fuck yah hes ur kid
look at theose shades
also bulshit i was an angel as a crater bb
u were prob a miserable ecto poopmonster

[Oh, he'll adjust. She'll just have to deal with a grumpy Strider every once in a while. Nothing a short TV-nap with a baby on his chest won't cure. But beyond that, his schedule's been pretty similar. It's almost strange how easily he and Roxy's lives merged together with this whole baby situation. Annoying at times, sure, but not too complicated.

And then there's a Dave, and he's got both the little monsters just sitting there, staring up at him and he just...blinks.]

I was the most sugoi ecto infant you ever had the chance to lay eyes on.
So don't even try and fool these kids cause they'll see right through your rouse.
Won't you?

[And of course Rose picks up on the cue and giggles that cute baby giggle, sticking her hand in her mouth afterwards and fuck she's adorable. This one was the smart one, let Dirk tell you.]

[ Well if Rose is the SMART one, Dave is obviously the talented one. And the handsome one. And the funny one- Roxy, it's a little early to be piking your favorite kid. There's just only so much that can be said about baby who, no matter how cute, is a dead ringer for your dead mother. ]

whatevr
im gona call child services int the mornign and wehn they take u to the big huose youll be putin on smuppet porn for the inmates while baby amd mommy have our own bodning time
is that right?
yes thasts rihgt

[ Tickles Dave under his tiny baby chin. She wouldn't really call child services on you, Dirk. Well, not for nothing anyway.

[Rose is most definitely the smart one, and the pretty one. And the strangely understanding and creepily intelligent one, which is different from being the smart one because being strangely intelligent involves just knowing things that babies should not know or understand but Rose gets it.

Sometimes.

Fuck it it's too hard to explain.]

You call child services on me and I'll just have to pull some insane jail-break shit,
And it'll involve way too much planning and perfect execution and I'll come back for the kids and destroy your life,
All in a rage only a vengeful parent could provide.

[Rose started reaching out towards him again at that point and he tilted her down towards him, holding her just far enough away that she could pat at his face. God damn adorable baby.]

[ Okay, okay. Save your soul bonding to this baby for Roxy's naptime. ]

this is suonding dangeously liek that shit movie we al had tow atch
with the crimainls on the plane

[ Tucks Dave under and arm and swings her legs over the side of the bed. Well, they said they needed to feed them right? C'mon. Motions for Dirk to follow her- oh, hell no is she doing this by herself. Last time Roxy tried to feed the babies they almost got ground up cheetos mixed with day old milk. Who was going to call child services again? ]

[Nope. Dirk and Rose's bonding is much to special to try and reschedule for another time. This is important.]

Exactly.

[But then Roxy's getting up, and telling him to follow, and while he could really just spend the rest of the morning soul-bonding to this ectobiologicaly related baby, the last time he let Roxy feed the kids alone it turned into the next apocalypse. Or close enough. So he gets up too, slipping Rose back into the crick of his elbow and follows Roxy to the kitchen.

Because yeah, that call would come from Dirk.]

[ Halfway to the kitchen, slings Dave over her shoulder like a trendy fashion accessory- which babies could easily become, it wouldn't be unheard of for the Batterwitch to move the focus from breeding into 'club all the infants for their coats'. Nope, this is a shitty thing to think about, the Empress and the potential for any of these precious little screambundles to wind up dead. Not in this meme!!

Roxy flings open the fridge and peers inside. Lots of mixers and diet soda.. where the shit is the baby food. What is baby food? Slowly starts to reach for the ketchup...? Help her out there, bro. ]

[Rose continues to just lay in his arms like a dead-weight, much more interested in the fact they are suddenly moving than anything else. He follows Roxy into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing the back of his neck.

Yes. We do not need those kind of thoughts in this meme.

So let's go back to Roxy! And the fact she has no idea what she's doing and Dirk is quite amused by this fact.]

Ketchup, Rox? Really?

[a pause, and then he's shaking his head and walking up behind her, reaching over her shoulder to grab one of the bottles he made yesterday from the top shelf.]

It'll be a miracle if these kids make it to walkin and talkin, I swear,
We'll do something wrong and they'll mutate into some weird mutant shit and we'll have no idea what to do.

[But he's on clock-work at this point, sticking the bottles into whatever the fuck bottle heater thing he bought off the internet a few months ago and now it's just a matter of waiting.]

[ hey! Ketchup is a vegetable. But yeah, yeah, milk is probably the better choice.

Gives Dave a little pat on the back, following Dirk to the bottle heater (which they really ought to work on, it works entirely too slow for Roxy's taste) and hopping onto the counter for a seat. Baby Dave peers through his little shades at the darkened kitchen, at his nearly identical father figure. Roxy's follows his little baby eyes and grins.

nah see he gts it
theyrve got u

[No, Roxy. Ketchup is not a vegetable. It's a condiment. Close enough, though. He'll give it to you, as long as you don't give it to the kids.

He kinda half-watches as she goes and sits on the counter, bouncing a bit just because that's what you do when you're holding a baby. You bounce and kind of hold them and rock them back and forth. Even if Rose wasn't in danger of starting to cry, he just does it anyway. Call it parental instinct, which I guess is one thing he has going for him. But then he turns and sees Dave staring at him, still kind of sitting on Roxy and he just stares back.]

Gets me? You think some baby-child can understand the complexity of this rad-awesome dude like me?

[But he just keeps eye-contact with little baby Dave and man, he can hold his own in a Strider staring contest. Which is something.]

[ As long as Dirk has parental instinct, these kids may make it to their first birthday. Roxy has only so much as ordering heaps of atrociously themed baby close to match the twins in. And then stand at a safe distance to admire them in their fineries while the babies wail in fury. It's only partially torture, they really were cute in those gay little sailor suits.

Follows Daves little baby stare and grins knowingly. ]

nah u are way too simple for his complex bb mind
gotta giev him a challenge
intrpduce him to somebody whos complicadted

[ Who do we know like that? Laughs when the timer on the bottle heater goes off and Dave extends hi arms for it, already getting what that sounds means! It's genius. Or Pavlovian, whichever comes first. ]

[Oh, they were making it to their fucking first birthday if Dirk had to lock them in a box somewhere. Or find a nanny. Both seemed to be on the same levels of ridiculous and out of the question, so instead he'd take it as a challenge and just...make Roxy help. They were partially her's too, it couldn't be a sole-Strider effort here.

But he needed to watch her when it came to those baby clothes. As fucking adorable as they were (so kawaii), money was an issue. Especially with how many diapers these little demons managed to go through per day. And the baby food. And the milk.

Which, speak of the devil, was done. He picked up one of the bottles and did the whole tester-thing. On his wrist, because once was enough when it came to testing the baby-shit-milk by drinking it. He still had nightmares. But when it was ready, he turned Rose over in his Arm so that she was looking up at him and gave her one. Then he picked up the other and handed it to Dave directly.

We'll go with genius, seeing as he's of the Strider clan.]

And who do you suppose is complicated enough to challenge his little baby mind?
He's already obsessed with television, and it doesn't get much more complicated than those Spanish soaps.

[ Money was only a sort of issue! Any minute now she would crack the hold the Batterbitch placed on her mother's millions. If her mom wanted Roxy to do anything with that money, it would've likely been revenge first, but raising two little monsters with your best bro was a close second. Probably. Who cares what she wants, these babies are going to look swank as fuck their entire life. Roxy is okay being the breadwinner. I mean, how much cash can smuppet porn really rake in?

Oh shit, good thing he tested the milk temperature. The one time they didn't.. the screams still ring in her ears. ]

i told u not to let him wathc those
tehy set unreal exspectations of ladies that they are way hoter and easier than women in real lief!
ur just setin him up for heartsbreak

[ Smoothing down Dave's little scuff of baby hair. ]

and rosalind is gona get soo lonely for him whehn he goes away to spansih imersion school
theyr e vrery attached to one another u kno

[As long as they have the dreads, that's all that matters. But don't hate on the porn industry, it's bringing in stuff. Some stuff. Mostly stuff they don't really want, but yeah. It brings stuff in. And he's making some money, while trying to work his way through the legal situation surrounding his brother's movie empire. But for now, it's baby food and diapers and that fucking bottle drying rack.]

And that they all speak Spanish.
It's a terrible expectation to have, really. Thinking there's all these hot women,
speaking Spanish, ready to have sex.
Would you rather I had him watch english soaps?

[He leans back on the counter, Rose expertly holding up her own bottle as she drinks, still staring at him like he was the most interesting thing in the world. He resituated the little purple cloth headband she wore back to the right spot in her hair, looking back up to Roxy and shrugging.]

I never said she couldn't go. They could both become honorary Mexicans.

nah our soap operas aer no beter
tehn hed think theres thsi abundance of secret twins uot there
willign to go thruogh years of sexual tension
harrowign dangers and teh like
tehn raise twin babies together

[ Manages a tight smile after Rose's little baby stare. Yeah, that face still puts her a little on edge. Little Dave is a lot easier to look at, maybe cause he looks like a little baby movie star. ]

taht kidna stuf never hapens in real life

[He glances up at her and smirks very slightly.]

And we can't have that, can we?

[Baby Rose starts fussing after a moment and he takes the bottle out of her hands and leans her against his shoulder, patting her back until she burps, totally and absolutely unfazed by the domesticity of it all. What with him burping a child over his shoulder. Fuck he's getting old.]

I could always let him watch the Teletubbies or some other child-baby shit they have on TV nowadays.

[ Babies burping is still gross to her- who do you think has to do a majority of the changing? You guessed it. But Dave seems to be managing his bottle well enough, no fussing, taking his sweet ass baby time without any crying. Just dont try and take his shades away, they're like his security blanket. Only shades.

Little laugh! ]

nah
i think one gaymo in the family is enough

You can never have enough.

[But then Rose is done and he's grabbing a rag from the counter, wiping off his shoulder and her little baby face before fitting her right back into the crook of his arm and giving her back the bottle. There. Everyone's happy.]

[ Dirk's such a natural with the babies it kinda bums her out on occasion. She doesn't get completely how her mother managed raising her, if the neglect just came later or if she developed early motor skill that allowed her to bathe and clothe her baby self, maybe call and order a baby-sized pizza for sustenance. Whichever it was, she just doesn't have the same flawless knack for childrearing Strider's got. Somebody's movie star bro must've had some pretty talented nannies. Or maybe Dirk just built his own robo-Mary Poppins.

Lifts Dave to check to make sure he's all cool, looking into that baby face to see if there's a burp need or maybe a better mom need? Disheartened look at the poker face stare she receives in return. ]

[He kind of watches her for a moment, since she's got that look that she always gets when she feels down, and he sorta frowns a bit. It's not like either of them had really easy lives, but sometimes he feels bad because it just doesn't...matter to him as much. But it obviously matters to Roxy, and that's the point where he starts feeling kind of bad, because he can't really...help her with that.

Dirk looks down at baby Rose and she's staring up at him again with those big freaking eyes and god damn. Sometimes he can't shake the feeling she's looking right into his soul. Every time. When he looks back up Roxy's holding Dave up and checking him, staring at his face with that look. That same freaking look.]

It's not the Strider way to show feelings, so if you're waiting for anything from him, you ain't gonna get it.

[ Pauses before she replies, observing little baby Strider carefully ]

im lookgn for the feeling of
"i want to go bakc to sleep with my sister so roxymama can gte a nap"

That would be way too easy.

[Even if he knows it won't happen, he looks back down to Rose. Who hasn't changed - still drinking, still staring. He sighs and leans back on the counter, looking up at the clock and sighing. He's got work in six hours. Joy. He turns back and sees Roxy still staring at Dave.]

Gettin' anything from him?

[These babies are damn unreadable. It' a good thing Roxy is a master of persuasion.. I mean, hey. She got you to raise two babies together. She can convince you of a little bit more.

Hops off the counter, Dave nestled in in one arm. ]

he says it s defineitely time to get back in the crib
right davey

[ Blank stare as a reply. When are they gonna talk already!? ]

Re: BOOOOOO CLASS

Re: BOOOOOO CLASS

freedom!! no i wasn't tagging in class before.. that would be irresponsible of me

Shame on you. xD

whatevs i graduate in June!!

LUCKY.

preen yes i know, ive had quite enough of the formal education system

i've got two more years left.

Finishing up my masters so the last schooling everrr. two years went by fast for me

ffffffffff I just need two years. I will get out of college in two years and then I'll be done.

you can do it! Also I think the other thread of ours is pretty much over, that cool?

sounds good to me!

fhjds i keep thinking i replied but then i never hit send. 8luhh

that's okay! :3 I mean, it'd be kind of hypocritical if I minded........lol

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