mememaster | BABIES

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meme: babies

BABIES

the babies meme

guidelines
→ Leave a comment with your character's name, fandom, and any preferences you may have.
→ Another character replies and suddenly you are a loving (??) couple with a child or multiple children!
→ Go from there! You can do literally whatever you want, from silly day-to-day domestic shenanigans to threads involving pregnancies to more serious topics. If you're short on ideas, you can look to other memes like The Domestic Meme or The Family Meme for inspiration.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Money was only a sort of issue! Any minute now she would crack the hold the Batterbitch placed on her mother's millions. If her mom wanted Roxy to do anything with that money, it would've likely been revenge first, but raising two little monsters with your best bro was a close second. Probably. Who cares what she wants, these babies are going to look swank as fuck their entire life. Roxy is okay being the breadwinner. I mean, how much cash can smuppet porn really rake in?

Oh shit, good thing he tested the milk temperature. The one time they didn't.. the screams still ring in her ears. ]

i told u not to let him wathc those
tehy set unreal exspectations of ladies that they are way hoter and easier than women in real lief!
ur just setin him up for heartsbreak

[ Smoothing down Dave's little scuff of baby hair. ]

and rosalind is gona get soo lonely for him whehn he goes away to spansih imersion school
theyr e vrery attached to one another u kno

[As long as they have the dreads, that's all that matters. But don't hate on the porn industry, it's bringing in stuff. Some stuff. Mostly stuff they don't really want, but yeah. It brings stuff in. And he's making some money, while trying to work his way through the legal situation surrounding his brother's movie empire. But for now, it's baby food and diapers and that fucking bottle drying rack.]

And that they all speak Spanish.
It's a terrible expectation to have, really. Thinking there's all these hot women,
speaking Spanish, ready to have sex.
Would you rather I had him watch english soaps?

[He leans back on the counter, Rose expertly holding up her own bottle as she drinks, still staring at him like he was the most interesting thing in the world. He resituated the little purple cloth headband she wore back to the right spot in her hair, looking back up to Roxy and shrugging.]

I never said she couldn't go. They could both become honorary Mexicans.

nah our soap operas aer no beter
tehn hed think theres thsi abundance of secret twins uot there
willign to go thruogh years of sexual tension
harrowign dangers and teh like
tehn raise twin babies together

[ Manages a tight smile after Rose's little baby stare. Yeah, that face still puts her a little on edge. Little Dave is a lot easier to look at, maybe cause he looks like a little baby movie star. ]

taht kidna stuf never hapens in real life

[He glances up at her and smirks very slightly.]

And we can't have that, can we?

[Baby Rose starts fussing after a moment and he takes the bottle out of her hands and leans her against his shoulder, patting her back until she burps, totally and absolutely unfazed by the domesticity of it all. What with him burping a child over his shoulder. Fuck he's getting old.]

I could always let him watch the Teletubbies or some other child-baby shit they have on TV nowadays.

[ Babies burping is still gross to her- who do you think has to do a majority of the changing? You guessed it. But Dave seems to be managing his bottle well enough, no fussing, taking his sweet ass baby time without any crying. Just dont try and take his shades away, they're like his security blanket. Only shades.

Little laugh! ]

nah
i think one gaymo in the family is enough

You can never have enough.

[But then Rose is done and he's grabbing a rag from the counter, wiping off his shoulder and her little baby face before fitting her right back into the crook of his arm and giving her back the bottle. There. Everyone's happy.]

[ Dirk's such a natural with the babies it kinda bums her out on occasion. She doesn't get completely how her mother managed raising her, if the neglect just came later or if she developed early motor skill that allowed her to bathe and clothe her baby self, maybe call and order a baby-sized pizza for sustenance. Whichever it was, she just doesn't have the same flawless knack for childrearing Strider's got. Somebody's movie star bro must've had some pretty talented nannies. Or maybe Dirk just built his own robo-Mary Poppins.

Lifts Dave to check to make sure he's all cool, looking into that baby face to see if there's a burp need or maybe a better mom need? Disheartened look at the poker face stare she receives in return. ]

[He kind of watches her for a moment, since she's got that look that she always gets when she feels down, and he sorta frowns a bit. It's not like either of them had really easy lives, but sometimes he feels bad because it just doesn't...matter to him as much. But it obviously matters to Roxy, and that's the point where he starts feeling kind of bad, because he can't really...help her with that.

Dirk looks down at baby Rose and she's staring up at him again with those big freaking eyes and god damn. Sometimes he can't shake the feeling she's looking right into his soul. Every time. When he looks back up Roxy's holding Dave up and checking him, staring at his face with that look. That same freaking look.]

It's not the Strider way to show feelings, so if you're waiting for anything from him, you ain't gonna get it.

[ Pauses before she replies, observing little baby Strider carefully ]

im lookgn for the feeling of
"i want to go bakc to sleep with my sister so roxymama can gte a nap"

That would be way too easy.

[Even if he knows it won't happen, he looks back down to Rose. Who hasn't changed - still drinking, still staring. He sighs and leans back on the counter, looking up at the clock and sighing. He's got work in six hours. Joy. He turns back and sees Roxy still staring at Dave.]

Gettin' anything from him?

[These babies are damn unreadable. It' a good thing Roxy is a master of persuasion.. I mean, hey. She got you to raise two babies together. She can convince you of a little bit more.

Hops off the counter, Dave nestled in in one arm. ]

he says it s defineitely time to get back in the crib
right davey

[ Blank stare as a reply. When are they gonna talk already!? ]

[Dirk eyes her for a moment before looking down at Rose, who was just finishing her bottle and yawned as if on cue. He sighs, taking the bottle from her and tossing it into the sink, following Roxy on out as he mutters down to Rose.]

It seems as though Roxymomma was right.
Back to sleep huh? [He follows her back in the babies' room, setting Rose back down in her crib.]

[ Dumps Dave unceremoniously into the crib. There you go. Moves some stuffed animals and toys around to crowd the boy, maybe overstimulate him into sleep time, whatever works. Adjusts his tiny baby shades.

Roxy straightens up, holding out her arms to Dirk. Smug little grin. ]

ok
now carry me bakc to bed too

[He sets Rose down in her crib as well, making sure her stuffed wizard and cat are close enough for her to reach before turning back around, raising one eyebrow at Roxy and keeping himself from letting out a laugh.]

You're fucking kidding me.

[ Quirks an eyebrow at the inital refusal. ]

u better not say its cuz im fat or soemthign

Oh yeah, cause you're so fat.

[Roxy better notice how much sarcasm he puts in that comment, but just in case he sighs and walks over anyway, picking her up bridal style and turns back towards the door, walking on out.]

That almost sounds like you're questionin' my strength.

[ Gleeful little shriek at being lifted, kicks her legs as shes carted from the room. ]

do NOT drop me!!!

[ Then stop squirming, Lalonde! ]

[He chuckles, carrying her out and down the hall.]

You act like I've dropped you before.

[He's still managed to keep a enough of a hold on her, even if she's still struggling. Once they're back in the room, he tosses her onto the bed.]

Better now?

[ Dirk may never have dropped her, but there is that one time she almost dropped Rose. It was a COMPLETE accident but she is very sensitive to it and has tapered back the drinking just in case her hands try and repeat the experience. Not that Dirk knows about it. Hopefully.

Little yelp as she's tossed on the bed. Attempts her best seductive pose- almost elbows herself in the stomach in trying to arrange her body that quickly. Not your best display.

SLOOOOOW WINK. ]

muuuhc better

[No, Dirk doesn't know. If he did he might be a little more hard on her with her drinking. He's already got his worries, but he's okay right now. He's good. And now he's chuckling, shaking his head at her pose as he crawls into bed next to her.]

You're ridiculous.

[ Roxy laughs and tugs the blankets over them. For all her posturing she's not going to try anything on you tonight, Mister Strider. You innocence will remain intact. Naps or not, she's still pretty wiped.

And she's working on less drinking around babies. They don't really like the smell of gin anyway.

Yawns, reaching over to ruffle his hair. ]

AND
im the mother of ur babies

[Oh good, he was so worried about his innocence. It's why he decided to move in with her, after all.

And he's noticed she's been drinking less. He has, and he appreciates it.

He rolls his eyes, pulling the blanket up to cover her shoulders, smiling very softly at her.]

This is true, and I'm quite content with that fact.
I mean, the last thing we need is these precious ectobiolical children of ours to have a life-changing parental crisis when they get older.
'You mean she's not really my mom?'

[Oh good, he was so worried about his innocence. It's why he decided to move in with her, after all.

And he's noticed she's been drinking less. He has, and he appreciates it.

He rolls his eyes, pulling the blanket up to cover her shoulders, smiling very softly at her.]

This is true, and I'm quite content with that fact.
I mean, the last thing we need is these precious ectobiolical children of ours to have
life-changing parental crises when they get older.
'You mean she's not really my mom?'

[ Shrugs under the blankets, peering after Dirk. ]

i dunno
i thghout we handled teh news pretty well
we can jsut tel them they were adoptped
from space

[ Tugs Dirk over to her side of the bed. ]

But with our same genetic make-up?
I don't think the adoption option will fly with these kids.
Rose especially.

[He doesn't respond to her tugging, but very easily (obviously because he does this ever night) slides over to her side of the bed, sliding up next to her.]

BABIES

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