mememaster | have i mentioned lately that i'm shameless

[Oh my God Karkat you are killing him with how adorable you are being.]

[But he really appreciates the shit out of it because he honestly feels about as bad as he looks. He just smiles when Karkat comes back in panting with the bottle of pills, and props himself up against the corner of his bed.]

Just two. [Wow he's gone hoarse.]

[ Karkat practically spills the entire bottle into his claw and pulls out two, goddamn it, two, you stupid fingers not three stop sticking augh akjflajfk OKAY, HE HAS TWO. He seats himself in front of John and prods his lips with his finger. ]

Okay. Okay, open up your flap because this is the express train and oh God you look fucking awful.

[He chuckles lightly, and actually doesn't wind up coughing because of it. He can't stop smiling at you you are being so adorable and sweet right now, dude.]

Karkat you are acting like I'm dying. It's just a really nasty cold, I'll be okay in a few days. [He kind of noms the pills right out of Karkat's fingers, though, and swallows them dry because they're those weird gel-coated ones that are easy to swallow anyway. He makes a face when they're gone, though.] Bluh.

We can't risk it! Now shut up, lie the fuck down and rest!

[ He peels the pills from his hand back into the bottle (gross, Karkat) and wraps the comforter around John like a cocoon. ]

[ YES. JOHN MUST BE SO COMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW. ]

[He's okay with being cocooned. He kind of settles into the blanket, smiling tiredly at him.]

...yeah, okay. I'll be okay, though. [He complies and eases himself into laying down, still cocooned, and digs a hand out of the blanket to find Karkat's.] ...promise. [Squeeze.]

[ jflsakjfkjaskg ]

[ So much pity. ]

[ So much. ]

[ Karkat squeezes John's hand tighter, bumping their foreheads together and just. BREATHES ON HIM. Breathes on him worriedly, because he doesn't know what to do and is therefore the most retarded fuck up in the universe and he doesn't want another friend biting the dust and he is so fucking red for him it is causing him literal physical pain -- ]

[ Okay, no, crashing that train of thought into a boulder because they're. Roommates. No awkward quadrants and stuff, GOD, KARKAT, YOU MORON. He moves out of the bed, face flushed, and boots up his husktop so he can ~~Gooble~~ Google this Earth cold things. ]

[ He bangs his head on the table. GOD WHAT WAS THAT, KARKAT, REALLY. ]

[Oh my gosh Karkat if you weren't silently worrying your way to an ulcer John would just hug the shit out of you. He's not dying and it's not your fault and --oh wait red is one of those weird confusing alien romance things isn't it.]

[He definitely could not process that right now.]

[He does process that Karkat's tripping out, though, and kind of wiggles, still burrowed in the comforter, toward the edge of the bed.]

Karkat, you're worrying again.

[ STILL NOT LOOKING AT HIM. ]

John, no, fuck, I'm not worrying. I am fucking rad. I am the epitome of everything calm and not overreacting at all! It's not like I'm going to lose you anyway, right. Right? Right! LOOK AT HOW CALM I'M BEING.

[ Okay, that... isn't calm at all, but who cares. He opens up his browser, Interweb Extrollter, and Earth Goobles treatments for the common cold. ]

[ Once the blush wears off, he turns his computer chair to John. ]

Chicken soup? Is that something you would like in this state?

You are so worrying-- [And he folds into his mass of blankets, overcome with coughing again. Wow mucus is fucking stupid, and this is so not making Karkat worry any less!!]

...soup is good, yeah, but you really don't need to worry about it. The stuff in this medicine is gonna make me sleep anyway...

How many times must I reiterate this for your think pan to finally wrap around the idea that John, no, I am not fucking worrying, okay? Calm is my middle name! [ And that John starts coughing and Karkat just wants to lunge at him and shove his hand down his throat and yank everything that ails him and augh. ] BUT IN THE INSTANCE THAT I AM. You are coughing your disgusting organs out, of course any alarm aimed at your direction is perfectly justified!

[ KARKAT SLAMS HIS HUSKTOP DOWN. Gently. ]

REST.

I will make you soup.

Wow, Karkat. [So very hoarse.] Okay, I'm resting. Look at how restful I am right now.

Come here. [Reaches his hand out a little.]

[ Okay. Sitting next to John, looking like a terrified, disheveled cat and grabs John's hand. ]

[ SORRY JOHN HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO CRY. HE'S JUST. SO FRUSTRATED OKAY. ]

[He sort of crawls forward and drapes himself in Karkat's lap.]

You are so dramatic, dude. I've been sick before, I promise I'll be okay.

[ Karkat freezes up. His blood pumper is beating twice as fast, and this is like way better than his dreams, except there they end up kissing and John's face is not full of ick and snot and GOD HE PITIES HIM A TON. Karkat is still worrying though. He strokes John hair. ]

You better be. You are not allowed to die in my care, under my hive.

[That hair thing actually feels really nice, wow. John kinds of sigh quietly, coughs for a minute or so, and then settles.]

I'm definitely not dying.

Okay, good, because you are [ HIS VOICE CRACKS. ] the most tolerable fucking roommate I could ever have.

[ Coughs. ]

I don't want to live with Harley, and stuff.

Let me pamper you, okay? So we could speed up the recovery and you could revert to your healthy, disgustingly chipper self.

And you are the best overdramatic alien roommate I could ever ask for, dude. The best alien roommate. [He shifts sideways and kind of hugs onto Karkat's waist awkwardly.]

Yeah, sure, I mean who am I to deny some pampering?

[ John is getting his cute and snot all over him. This is so fucking romantic. ]

Okay. This is our secret, okay, if you tell anyone that I ever pampered you, I swear this Earth virus would look benign compared to me skinning you alive with my bare claws.

Ahahaha wow, okay. Way to be totally contradictory. "Let me pamper you", he says, but "don't tell anyone or I'll skin you alive". [His chuckling leads to him hacking up a lung again, and he coils away and off of Karkat's lap because eugh, that's a really unpleasant chesty cough and mucus is really really gross and he doesn't exactly want to get it all over you!!]

[He makes a face and sits up after a second, dragging a nearby trashcan over to him and spitting into it. Ew, mucus. Seriously that shit is so gross can he please stop coughing it up.]

[And then he kind of flops back over and curls up, looking thoroughly worn out.]

...wow this is lame.

[ wow that's kind of hot. ]

[ He tucks John in properly again. ]

The faster you get rid of that virus, the better.

Do you want me to play a DVD until you fall asleep?

[Rofl wow Karkat what the fuck.]

[None the wiser, John just smiles a little at him.]

Sure.

[ Karkat opens up their DVD closet. His fingers skim over his CINEMATIC MASTERPIECES, tempted, but no. He's supposed to be thinking of John. So he pulls out Failure to Launch and hits play. ]

Now stay there while I make your soup.

[John just sort of glazes over, curling up in his blankets and trying to focus on the movie.]

[He makes a sort of monosyllabic grunting sound to answer Karkat's demand, and within probably the first three minutes of the movie he's dropped off into a fitful sleep from equal parts doxylamine succinate and exhaustion from all his coughing fits.]

[ Okay, now that John's asleep, it's time for the KARKAT VANTAS COOKING SHOW. ]

[ He paces around the kitchen. How do you make chicken soup, what do? He opens up the freezer and pulls out the chicken. Okay, yeah there it is. ]

[ He starts boiling some water. So far so good! ]

[ Then he plops the chicken in the pot and waits. HOW LONG IS THIS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING TAKE???? He turns the flame to its highest setting. ]

[ Half an hour later, he opens up the pot and... God, that looks. Fucking disgusting. Humans are disgusting. He picks up a spoon, tastes it, REALIZES IT IS TOO FUCKING HOT and throws the spoon... somewhere. He picks up another one and blows on it before tasting it now. ]

[ Okay, yeah, that's passable. He pours a decent amount on a bowl (it's Karkat, so he ends up messing up the entire counter) and heads upstairs. ]

[ John... is still asleep. He lays the soup on the table and watches John's sickly form intently, carefully observing how his chest rises and falls. He half sobs. ]

I don't know what I'll do if you die, you beautiful, infuriating asshole.

[Wow Karkat way to make a horrific mess of the kitchen while I'm totally not dying.]

[But John is definitely still asleep when he comes back with the soup, his breath sort of hitching awkwardly every few seconds. Through some combined effort of the hitching and the smell of the soup, he wakes up some five or ten minutes after Karkat comes back, rousing slowly and sort of whining, quietly, willing himself to go back to sleep.]

[When it doesn't work, he eventually figures out how to focus on what appears to be Karkat, and smiles a little.]

See? Totally not dying. [Except now he's even hoarser than before.]

rofl it's sort of alarming how easily porn icons can be used for sick icons....

it's so true jflksjf

fndkh like wow what the shit is this happening right here.

kinky sick person foreplay?

ngjkrednfvd

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