[ with a hand carefully cradling the infant's head, alois holds him securely as claude comes to enfold arms around him. he wracks with tears and exhaustion, and bows his head in such a way so as to spare both baby and his father from disgusting things like snot. ]

I have to be— I have to be a good mother. [ through weeping and teensy hysterical hiccups. ] I've to give him everything, so he won't leave me, so neither of you will go on and leave me. [ shit, he's so tired. his head drops against claude's side. ] I wasn't— [ his heart is going to stop, that's what it feels like. ] I couldn't do anything for Luca. I was shit at being a brother, but I don't have to be a shit mother.